Wellbeing Through Arts Series | Lyrics: Mentally Unhealthy by Monique

Full name: Monique Di-Paolo
Artist name: Monique
Age: 17
College/ School: Pimlico Academy


Men­tally Unhealthy 

Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
I’m here. I’m here.
Can you see me?
Can you see me?
I’m here. I’m here.

Sur­roun­ded by the empti­ness and silence,
Always seem to run away and always seem to hide it,
Hope­less­ness, seems like a con­stant parade,
I go through this struggle almost every day,
Self-harm and scream­ing and sui­cid­al thoughts,
There’s no oth­er way that I can get my points across,
Loneli­ness, isol­a­tion, youth need an edu­ca­tion,
Attempt­ing to express myself through all the per­spir­a­tion,
I am suf­fer­ing daily, it’s covered by a façade,
It’s hard, this emo­tion seep­ing out of a mask.

Swim­ming in my misery I find it hard to see,
Life’s a blur – my wor­ries simply spat out at me,
Drown­ing in a swim­ming pool poisoned with chlor­ine,
Please don’t even dare to tell me “it’s only just a dream” ‘cos this can’t be,
Alone with no oth­er pos­sib­il­ity,
Hold­ing my breath, I always found it hard to breathe,
It’s tough; my mind restrict­ing me in hand cuffs,
Imprisoned in my brain and it’s driv­ing me insane,
What can I say?
Makes me feel some kind of way,
I used to see the col­our in life now all I see is grey,
All that was needed was atten­tion to be paid,
All could’ve pre­ven­ted this sud­den mess that I’ve made

Seek­ing for self-help whilst sub­con­sciously slip­ping,
I’m hold­ing on for dear life but I must be los­ing grip and,
I am a little bird with the inab­il­ity to fly,
I am a car stuck in traffic; no motiv­a­tion to try,
I am the last hello and the first good­bye,
Don’t both­er to look at me, I will blend in with the night.

Forced to look at myself, reluct­ant I see dis­tor­tion,
The mir­ror a kal­eido­scope and no safety pre­cau­tions,
Body dys­morphia and EDNOS,
Please, I’ll save you the time and you can take a wild guess,
I’m just a teen­age girl, insec­ure of how I dress,
I’m just a teen­age girl, I’m in need of a rest,
I’m just a teen­age girl, all these hor­mones, ignore it,
Obli­vi­ous to all the signs and here is the worst bit,
You won’t blink an eye, as I fake a smile,
As I shed a tear – life is not so worth­while,
So I shall be brave, what else can I do?
Inev­it­able dis­asters con­tin­ue to see me through.

About Well­being Through Arts

Well­being Through Arts is a series of work­shops focus­ing on the artist­ic devel­op­ment of dif­fer­ent forms of expres­sion to empower and edu­cate. The aim is to provide a safe envir­on­ment where young people can devel­op new forms of com­mu­nic­a­tion and act­ively nur­ture their tal­ent.

ReThink hos­ted our first series of work­shops at it’s Young People Men­tal Health Con­fer­ence Invis­ible Struggles.

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Guest Author
I Am Hip-Hop magazine welcomes contributions from guest authors. If you would like to review an event, please get in touch! iamhiphopmagazine[at]gmail.com