I’ve never done this before,
I take on a new role
I’m on a roll with trying to roll up a sheet of white, filling its insides like filling my mind with this high to help me forget why.
I was shy — I tried — I took a risk.
But there’s no room for a shy one; the shy one is homeless.
There’s no room, for a shy one; the shy one is homeless.
She is sat in three-degree cold on her Mrs Jack Jones;
That she is me.
Plonked outside of ‘Hayes station,’
goose bumps rising to the occasion and my will to live becomes inpatient.
See, I was to blame and…
I was ashamed and…
Felt I was going insane because of this soarded game that we pick up the phone and call, “life.”
I don’t want no responsibilities!
I’d rather use my abilities to create new facilities for people like me, who once had no opportunities to shine brighter than a siren.
But let’s not pretend.
I once was that broken light — past tense.
All because I had fuse of a midgets height — no offence.
You see, you can either live a life in the industry or live a life in the streets.
and I don’t mean living a road man’s dream and starting up a “ghetto-team.”
I mean, the difference between having a warm shoulder to lean in comparison to your cheek on freezing slabs of concrete.
We are mean’t to live the life we get give but we aren’t the ones living it.
And all this back-chat, spoken-word, we can’t be giving it.
Cos’ we get silenced with a tazer, sometimes until death do you part.
And they won’t stop till they’ve stopped your heart.
Again, life is mean’t to live but we ain’t the ones living it
Cos we got strangers telling us what time to be who? what? and where?
Strangers pulling us to the side, up against wall and diving into our pockets straight through the tear.
They don’t care.
Strangers approaching what we call “home” and telling us we’ve got five minutes to go.
“I’ll tell you exactly where to go!”
I began this whole tiff with rolling up a spliff and inhaling at least a fifth before I set adrift into letting this ink get pampered.
I left home with a blue biro and someones just thrown down an evening standard.
Finally, somewhere that had space for me.
I’ve never done this before.

Rishma

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