Home. Home is the tangled web of stars that swim in the galaxy that is your soul. The stars that break and burn, the stars that get beaten and shout and bash against your ribs until you feel what it’s like to feel something again and angels are crying up above and landing on your cheeks.
Home is drifting against the backdrop of the world like a soul detached from its body, hollow like the words you feed yourself, like the smile you know the camera has seen before.
Home is the solace you find when your head drifts away and Lana Del Rey plays on inside of you like the hero you never had, the part of yourself that lives on after the storm, imprinted into history forever; Your piece of peace.
Home is knowing you have no home, but also knowing your home, your celestial soul that glows and shines into universes and lives beyond our understanding, is broken and split into different places. Home is living on for hope and art, ‘because survival is insufficient’.
Home is the happiness that takes over you when you throw your head back and it’s just as well no one is here to see; because this is happiness, this is living. This is Home. The beauty you surround yourself with and the people you choose to trust in. Home, I’ve discovered, is your own untouchable paradise that not even you can describe.
Home is my amor vitae mae, the music that silences the war on my mind even if it’s only temporary. It’s the little things: the quick glances and the memories, the nostalgia that stings and reminds you there are still things to live for. The warmth that remains in my heart, growing everyday and replacing the numbness like a form of healing over time.
[Embrace the pain, embrace the numbness and the sadness, for that is the only real way to heal. Remember that happiness is not something you have to achieve. You can still be happy in the process of achieving something; something can still be beautiful even though there’s something terrible. You can still be happy even though you’re going through something, and you have every right to be sad even when you’re not. Find your hope and you’ve found your solace; your muse, your inspiration, your lifeline, your string of red fate that keeps you connected to those you love: Because survival is insufficient.]